By the time I got to a neurologist, I was prescribed Zoloft in order to control the anxiety disorder that made them worse and was told that the problem would probably solve itself. Medical professionals often dismissed it as an overreaction on my parents’ part –even when the possibility of it being Tourette’s was suggested - or completely in my head, even though it affects 1 to 10 out of 1,000 children.
I had momentary relief each time, but it inevitably came back again throughout the birth of Christ. I kept stretching my neck like a giraffe. I was one of the angels at the manger, but my behavior looked demonic. The bizarre background of my own journey started when I was 8 at a church Christmas play. I can’t blame her I spent over a decade of my own life trying to hide my own tics when I didn’t even know I had Tourette’s. On Instagram, she released a statement acknowledging her diagnosis and the accompanying videos saying, “I’ve just never wanted people to think of every time they think of me.”
In November of 2018, Eilish confirmed she has Tourette’s after video compilations of her own suspected tics were posted on Youtube. It is similar to ADHD or autism spectrum disorder in that it is considered as neurodivergent. Though it is possible to repress tics after lots of practice and strategies to stop them from being so noticeable, they do not typically go away completely and can continue throughout adult life. Tics are defined as “repetitive movements and vocalizations” and are often signs of tic disorders or Tourette’s Syndrome, a neurological disorder characterized by the presence of at least one motor (movement) and one phonic (vocal) tic. But what drew me to her art in the first place wasn’t her art at all - it was her tics. Her bold and unapologetic sense of style, her dreamy and haunting tracks, those powerbrows (no, really). Though she’s six years my junior, Eilish has become a personal heroine of my in a short amount of time. There are many reasons why I’m obsessed with Billie Eilish.
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